"Rather than trying to control the perfect balance of all the components of your life to be happy, true happiness can be found by filling your life with purpose." Discussing how you can get off the never ending hamster wheel of all the pressures of your life, and be fulfilled no matter how much time you are able to devote to any critical part of your life at any given time.
I love salad. Kale salad, Spinach salad, Mediterranean salad, Chinese chicken salad, Beet salad… You name it, and it is my favorite lunch choice and a necessary component for dinner. But what makes each salad especially unique and delicious is the particular dressing for each kind of salad. Growing up my mom always prepared a salad for dinner, but as we got older, my dad became the one who “tossed” the salad. My dad prepared the dressing each night fresh from a variety of oil and vinegars and seasonings. It was different each time but always delicious. For years I practiced making my own dressing, but always struggled getting the perfect ratio of oil to vinegar. More often than not, the perfect salad I had prepared was ruined because I added too much oil or not enough vinegar or overdid the spices. It was hard to ever get it perfect. Over time, I shifted my focus from making the perfect dressing to finding the perfect pre made dressings. Recently, the closest I come to making my own dressing is to use a zesty Italian dressing seasoning packet. You just add oil, vinegar, water according to the directions and add the seasoning packet. It comes out pretty good.
People are always seeking balance in their lives. Balance between the main components of their life that pull them different directions. I believe that the idea of balance can be represented with a bottle of salad dressing. Take the zesty Italian salad dressing. The directions call for combining the following in a glass jar: combine 1/4 cup vinegar, 3 tbs water and contents of seasoning envelope and shake vigorously. Add 1/2 cup oil and shake again vigorously until well blended.
Pretend that your family is the vinegar and friends are the water, or vice versa depending on your proportion of friends verse family. The seasoning packet represents your interests/ hobbies, and finally the oil represents your career. We are only able to spend so much time in each of these important areas of our lives. Usually work takes up a majority of our time, with less time for family and friends and we are lucky to squeeze in time for our interests.
However, just as the seasoning adds the critical flavor to the dressing, our lives would be flat and tasteless if we didn’t pursue our passions.
However, if we always seek balance then we are constantly having to work to have the perfect ratio of work, friends, family, and interests in our lives. Moreover, we cannot stop working hard to keep this ratio perfect. It’s like we are on the hamster wheel and we can never get off. If we stop running on the wheel, then our lives start to fall apart.
Remember what happens to the salad dressing when it sits for a period of time without being shaken? It separates - the seasoning sinks to the bottom, next there is a layer of vinegar and the oil goes to the top. If we were to pour this out of the top, then the first thing that comes out is the oil. So metaphorically, if we stop constantly vigorously working on balance, then we end up devoting our lives to work, then family and friends, and usually stop taking care of ourselves and our interests. So just like the salad dressing that does not taste good unless it is shaken, when we cannot maintain the proper balance of work, family and friends and our own upkeep, we don't function right. Sometimes we are just unhappy and frustrated. But sometimes we can start experiencing feelings of anxiety, depression, worthlessness, frustration, humiliation, desperation … The list goes on and on. Sometimes we just can’t stay on that hamster wheel, or are too exhausted and discouraged to get back on when we fall off. Sometimes we turn to destructive behaviors such as drugs or alcohol. Other times, we just suffer the impact of the internal frustrations and feel unfulfilled.
There is no end game to a hamster wheel. It is a constant cycle that you can only stop by getting off. But what about actually seeking a higher purpose? A purpose that fulfills you no matter how much time you spend in each critical area of your life that is demanding your attention. Imagine that instead of your life being a jar of salad dressing, your life is one of pure water. It is able to turn into something wonderful by having a higher purpose. For example, if a stay at home mom who lacks oil in her jar could only be fulfilled if she worked, then she would always be miserable. Likewise, a career person who at any given stage in their life lacks time for anything outside of work, they always would be miserable. I’m proposing that for our own self worth and mental health, that we seek purpose in whatever it is we are devoting our time to.
In the bible, the first recorded miracle of Jesus’s public ministry is found in John 2:1 and is the miracle of turning water into wine. It occurred at a wedding in Cana where apparently the wine ran out during the wedding celebration and this would have created a very humiliating situation for the host. Jesus turned the water at the celebration into wine of the highest quality. Wine is widely viewed to be a symbol of happiness in the bible. So Jesus’s miracle turned out to be a perfect way for Jesus to demonstrate God’s love and plan to bring joy and peace to Earth forever. Jesus was illustrating the joy in his kingdom when all sorrow and sadness are banished forever.
Remembering this miracle, I believe that rather than trying to control the perfect balance of all the components of our life to be happy, true happiness can be found by filling your jar with purpose. By turning your water into wine, you can get off the never ending hamster wheel of all the pressures of your life, and be fulfilled no matter how much time you are able to devote to each critical part of your life at any given time. While I do believe that having balance is the foundation for living a healthy life, I don’t believe that one can be satisfied and fulfilled without understanding that purpose for which they are to live for.
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